OK. I CAME HOME FROM WORK TODAY AND IT LOOKED LIKE BRODIE HAD EATEN PARTS OF HIMSELF AND LEFT HUGE PATCHES OF LEFTOVERS ALL OVER THE CARPET. LIKE BIG LOOSE WADS OF HAIR WERE ON THE CARPET. I JUST VACUUMED IT TWO DAYS AGO. IT'S BRAND NEW HAIR. FAST FORWARD. CUT TO. TONIGHT. RIGHT NOW. GETTING IN BED, GETTIN ALL CUDDLY WITH NOBODY EXCEPT MAYBE THE PROSPECTS OF CHECKING MY EMAIL AND, WAIT... HOLD ON A MINUTE. WHAT'S THAT ON THE BLANKET? WHAT COULD THAT BE? I REACHED FOR IT IN ALARM AND QUICKLY REALIZED IT WAS INDEED A HUGE WAD OF THE CAT'S HAIR ON MY BED. THEN I TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AND REALIZE THAT THERE'S NOT JUST A FEW HAIRS AND IT'S NOT JUST THAT ONE WAD. THERE IS A LAYER. ACTUAL LAYER OF CAT HAIR ON THE BLANKET.
I KEEP THE PAINTING IN THE DOORWAY CONSTANTLY.
HOW THE HELL (HELL!) COULD THE CAT HAVE GOTTEN INTO MY ROOM AND SPENT ENOUGH TIME ON MY BED TO HAVE LEFT AN ENTIRE LAYER AND ALSO A BIG LOOSE WAD OF HIS HAIR. SOMETIMES THEY SAY WE'LL NEVER KNOW. IN THIS CASE, I WILL DIE BEFORE I LET THIS MYSTERY GO UN-INVESTIGATED.
UNCOMFORTABLY SIGNING OUT.
NICOLE
THE CULPRIT
